Last summer was a drunk fairytale

Listening to that now old song.

Feeling the warm summer breeze.

Tasting the starlight in my hair.

Feeling the tenderness on my skin, that never came.

Remembering that last night I played anyone’s expectations game and we both lost.

Seeing you again, that last time, leaning over the wall, looking into the banana plantation, those trees I wanted to climb.

Your lustful looks at me linger on in my mind.

And I am still never truly gone.


Nothing ever truly makes sense or has to. The joy is in what happened and what was imagined.

It leaves us with a taste of closeness and longing.

You know what I would do if I knew I could.

Hug you.

Nothing more.

A physical expression.

Of deep admiration.

I would like to reach out again and say: you are good.

My thankfulness is out of bounds.

Philosophical thinking

Re: The 10 Best Philosophy Books For Beginners

“This is actually a difficult question — which philosophical texts are best for beginners? But it’s also one that I get asked pretty regularly. I typically suggest starting with Plato, and occasionally delve a bit deeper into the topic, but admittedly haven’t devoted the thought and attention it really deserves to give a proper answer.”

Sorry. I cannot read past that, it makes me shudder. Honestly, the best way to learn philosophical thinking is to question, anything and everything. Then go to a book store, to the philosophy section (or religion or semiotics or anything else that sparks inspiration) and look for a book or title that fascinates you. Read that. Go from there. A path will open itself, coz philosophers have the (sometimes) annoying tendency to quote one another. Boom, rabbit hole.

Honestly, start with the classics if you want to show off. They are important to read if you study philosophy I guess, academically. But all thoughts are always repeated, so if Plato speaks your language cool, if you prefer something more modern, try Nitzsche (also his poems which are beautiful and unjustly maligned). The ideas don’t change, the wonders don’t change. The language does change and the people writing it.
And make an effort to seek out women / differently gendered thinkers. They are you there. And usually better thought out.

My last priest, the one who performed my Confirmation, told me a great wisdom: every thought is a prayer, because God, no matter their name, their number or their ascribed actions, lives in everything we do, in us, so every thought is a word in gods ears, a mirror (perhaps darkly) of our self.
Philosophy is like the air we breath and the food we eat. Everything is philosophy, everything is thought. And if you have a faith, a prayer.

For an academic or perhaps a young intellectual, I may be too tainted by Sophie’s World (the book, which remains amazing).

In the end, we all ask ourselves, why those dancing shadows on the walls are reborn every morning and how we can escape that endless cycle.

2020/2/4–5, to and inspired by Anna!




Your bag reads.

Forever, though, is a long time.

Slow burn

Proudly, tall, pretty.

And then a base punches.


Reaching into.

Deeply, deep into.

Pulling the hood over my head.

Stilettos, moving, standing, producing a beat worth dancing to.

Pulling back.

Pushing up, like grass in spring.

Oh, hey. Music is saving my life again.

Your eyes focused on the night outside.

Inside light, keeping us up.

That you are is amazing.

That we are crossing paths is something short of a miracle.

Let me synthesise the memories of today.

And attribute them all to you.

Your trust means the world.

Through words I might just mirror you.

And when I pass you, I say thanks.

This is a slow burn.

Tenderness Absent [v2]

Body against body.

Drinking what you provide.

Licking you dry.

And it does feel good to give.

And it is best to be shared.

To see lust rising in you,

fill you, nerves on alert, hair standing.

But your tenderness is absent.

Truly felt, truly given.

Your body shakes in desire and I forget all of this.

Till our bodies rest, side by side and sadness will rise in the place you now reside.

I have to ask many questions and find many answers, but remain silent to not destroy the moment as it’s passing by.

I hate sleeping alone,

after sleeping with you.


& 2010/01/10